New Mother's Suffer from More Than Postpartum Depression

By Lindsey Tanner, Associated Press December 6, 2006

CHICAGO -- New mothers face increased risks for a variety of mental problems, not just postpartum depression, according to one of the largest studies of psychiatric illness after childbirth.

New fathers aren't as vulnerable, probably because they don't experience the same physical and social changes associated with having a baby, the researchers and other specialists said.
The study, based on medical records of 2.3 million people over a 30-year period in Denmark, found that the first three months after women have their first baby is riskiest, especially the first few weeks. That's when the tremendous responsibility of caring for a newborn hits home.
During the first 10 to 19 days, new mothers were seven times more likely to be hospitalized with some form of mental illness than women with older infants.

Compared with women with no children, new mothers were four times more likely to be hospitalized with mental problems.

New mothers also were more likely than other women to get outpatient psychiatric treatment.
However, new fathers did not have a higher risk of mental problems when compared with fathers of older infants and men without children.
The prevalence of mental disorders was about 1 per 1,000 births for women and just 0.37 per 1,000 births for men.

Mental problems included postpartum depression, but also bipolar disorder, with alternating periods of depression and mania; schizophrenia and similar disorders; and adjustment disorders, which can include debilitating anxiety.

The study underscores a need for psychiatric screening of all new mothers and treatment for those affected, said an editorial accompanying the study in today's Journal of the American Medical Association.

Two of the three authors of the editorial reported financial ties to the psychiatric drug industry. The researchers said they had no financial ties to the industry.
They examined national data on Danish residents from around 1973 to July 2005. About 1.1 million participants became parents during the study.

A total of 1,171 mothers and 658 fathers -- none diagnosed with any previous mental problems -- were hospitalized with a mental disorder after childbirth.

Lead author Trine Munk-Olsen, a researcher at Denmark's University of Aarhus, said similar risks for psychiatric problems probably would affect new parents in other developed nations including the United States.

However, differences in screening practices and access to healthcare might influence whether parents elsewhere are hospitalized, she said.
Physical changes after childbirth might partly explain why women are vulnerable, including fluctuating hormone levels, Munk-Olsen said.
These, alone or combined with sleep deprivation and the demands of breast-feeding, could trigger mental problems, she said.

Hard data on the number of women worldwide affected by postpartum mental illness are scant, but postpartum depression alone affects about 15 percent of US women.
The condition made headlines last year when actress Brooke Shields acknowledged taking antidepressants after her first child was born -- and Tom Cruise publicly criticized her for it.
Postpartum mental illness also has been cited as a factor in shocking cases of mothers killing their children, including Andrea Yates's drowning of her five children in Texas in 2001.
Dr. Nada Stotland, a psychiatry professor at Rush Medical College in Chicago, said gender differences in postpartum mental illness are not surprising.
Mothers generally bear the brunt of sleep deprivation, and many new mothers are socially isolated or live far from relatives who could provide support, Stotland said.

© Copyright 2006 Globe Newspaper Company.

Bending without Breaking

As we grow older we become more set in our ways. We can have a tendency to be inflexible and lack the ability to see the world from someone else's point of view. If we can bend our thoughts some and become more flexible we can find more compassion and synchronicity in the universe. Harmony is not created by one musical tone it is created by a blending of tones.

- Jamie Sams

Try it...You might like it!

Lifestyle and Panic Disorder

Changing aspects of a person's lifestyle (decrease alcohol, caffeine, smoking and increase in water and exercise) can help reduce severe anxiety and panic attacks, according to new research carried out at the University of East Anglia.

A study by Dr Rod Lambert, from UEA's School of Allied Health Professions, has shown that drinking less alcohol and caffeine and smoking less, while increasing water intake and exercise, can be at least as effective as traditional medication and psychological treatments for panic disorder.

About 1.5% of the UK population are affected by panic disorder, with panic attacks being one of the symptoms. Sufferers often experience palpitations, shortness of breath, dizziness and nausea, as well as feelings of impending doom or death. Some also suffer from agoraphobia.
It is thought to be the first time that research has been carried out on how changing a range of lifestyle behaviors can help patients. Dr Lambert said: "It can offer an early input helping many patients to understand and control some of their symptoms.

"Panic disorder can stop people working, it can stop people shopping. I've seen people who have had panic attacks when they are driving and at night. It can affect family dynamics and work patterns. It's a very disabling condition that can last for many years and every single person is going to experience it differently."

The trial was carried out with patients aged 18-65 referred from 15 GP practices in the East of England. They had all been identified as having panic disorder and were then assigned to either routine GP care, such as medication and referral to outside agencies, or to an occupational therapy-led lifestyle approach, which looked at diet, fluid intake, exercise and intake of caffeine, alcohol and nicotine.

Dr Lambert said: "The short term effect was significant, while the longer term effect was at least as effective as routine GP care. If someone is experiencing palpitations, they may interpret that as an impending heart attack. What the therapist was doing in the trial was to suggest other lifestyle-related reasons for the palpitations.

"We can suggest cutting down on caffeine or having a bit more water during the day or night. If doing something as simple as that alters the sensations, then they may no longer misinterpret their symptoms and the associated panic goes."

Those who made changes to their lifestyle showed a decrease in the level of medication and number of doctor visits compared to those following the routine care. Levels of anxiety and panic attacks also reduced the most in patients following the lifestyle treatment - by 10 months, 67.7% of the lifestyle patients and 48.5% of the GP patients had been panic-free for at least one month.

Dr Lambert said he hoped to do further research, with the aim being to see a change in practice. "I am very encouraged by the results. Habitual lifestyle behavior hasn't really been taken seriously enough when looking at this type of condition. This study looked at a range of lifestyle behaviors but ones which people can make fairly immediate changes to. It suggests that patients actually respond to it."

Lambert RA, Harvey I, Poland F. A pragmatic, unblinded randomised controlled trial comparing an occupational therapy-led lifestyle approach and routine GP care for panic disorder treatment in primary care J Affect Disord. 2006, doi:10.1016/j.jad.2006.08.026 In Press.

Living Longer

People are living longer these days. According to the Centers for Disease Control, in 1920 the average life expectancy was 54. Today, people can expect to live to 78.
Feel free to speculate about why--better food supply, better medical care, better hygiene or any number of other factors. It's not totally clear to scientists how they all add up. But what we do know is that studies are finding genetics don't tell the whole story when it comes to which diseases will likely kill us.

"There's a saying that genetics load the gun, but it's the environment that pulls the trigger," says Dr. David Fein, medical director at the Princeton Longevity Center, a clinic in Princeton, N.J., which focuses on quality of life and prolonging it. "You can have the gene for a certain disease, but it doesn't mean you're going to get it."

If you really want to live longer, then start with your attitude. Your way of thinking not only improves your outlook on life, but also how long you actually live. In 2002, researchers at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., found that optimistic people decreased their risk of early death by 50% compared with those who leaned more toward pessimism.

Besides looking through rosier-colored glasses, there other personality traits that can help us live longer, healthier lives. According to Dr. Howard Friedman, a psychologist at the University of California, Riverside, conscientiousness is related to mortality in a significant way. The Terman Life-Cycle Study, which ran from 1921 to 1991, examined an array of factors like personality, habits, social relations, education, physical activities and cause of death.

Valuing life is universal. Having some control over your own destiny is more realistic than many people realize. Learn more about how to live longer at Long Life. Knowledge is power; Applied knowledge is wisdom.

Broken Heart Syndrome

In the largest review of "broken heart syndrome" patients ever conducted, Mayo Clinic researchers studied 100 patients and found symptoms recurred in 1 out of 10 patients over a four-year period, and that patients experiencing physical stress had a worse survival rate than those under emotional stress. The information may help physicians manage their heart patients more effectively by providing new details about a recently recognized condition that mimics heart attack symptoms of shortness of breath and chest pain. Because one trigger of the syndrome is severe emotional stress, such as loss of a loved one, the condition several years ago was nicknamed "broken heart syndrome." It is known medically as apical ballooning syndrome (ABS).

If you have lost a loved or you are under alot of stress seek treatment before it starts to effect you heart. Contact Us for more information on how to reduce stress in your life.

Get where you want to go!

How do you go from where you are to where you want to be?

I think you have to have an enthusiasm for life.
You have to have a dream, a goal and you have to be willing to work for it.
If you want to achieve a high goal, you're going to have to take some chances.
Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something.
It's our goal in life to find it and to keep it.
Knowing your destination is half the journey.

-Kenn

Coping with Holiday Stress

Gerald Koocher, Ph.D, is president of the American Psychological Association and dean of the Simmons School for Health Studies in Boston. Koocher offers these tips for coping with holiday stress:

Q: Why do people get so stressed out during the holiday season?

Gerald Koocher: A lot has to do with expectations associated with the season (both our own, and those of others we care about). In much of Western society, commercial interests promote gift exchanges and shopping around the clock. This can add significant economic stress. And the pressures of getting one's work done interacts with holiday time off, family demands, and other end-of-the-year activities and obligations.

Q: How can we relieve this stress?

Koocher: One helpful step might involve calling a mental "time-out" and prioritizing. Find a quiet place and take a few minutes to think through your priorities. Ask yourself which activities or goals are most important to your wellbeing. Then, focus reasonable attention on those things, while deliberately allowing the less important matters to wait. By exerting some intentional control, you will feel less buffeted or overtaken by events. When shopping for gifts, remember that a relatively inexpensive gift showing attention to the recipient's interests, or conveying special affection, will be remembered with greater warmth and gratitude than a costly present that may end up at a department store's returns counter a few days later.
Q: Some people find that they feel depressed during this time of year. Why?
Koocher: "Seasonal blues" are not uncommon. One contributing factor involves our expectations; the media and commercial interests bombard us with messages that may often seem at odds with the reality of our lives. You may feel sad because you remember a family member who is not with you this season. You may realize another year has come and gone without attaining some major goal you had hoped for. Or you may find yourself struggling with problems involving food or alcohol intake during holiday festivities. Seasonal affective disorder, known as "SAD," also presents a problem for some people, leading to mood changes during periods of decreased exposure to daylight.

Q: The holidays may be a time to gather with difficult family members. Any tips for making these reunions less stressful?

Koocher: Family members can be sources of social support, as well as sources of intense emotional pressure. At work, your colleagues may recognize you as a high performing professional, but back home you may find yourself frozen in time as "little Bobby who wet his bed at age 3," or Suzie, who finds herself peppered with questions about her social life from nosy relatives. Two coping strategies involve recognizing what is happening, and taking control over your own reactions. Take a mental step backward for a moment and consider the person whose behavior annoys you. What does their behavior tell you about them? Are they angry, depressed, self-absorbed, or just plain insensitive? Recognize that you are not responsible for their problems, comments, or behavior. Remember that you need not let yourself become drawn back into old roles or relationships, and have no obligation to respond to intrusive or annoying questions. Change or deflect the subject, turn the question around asking about their lives, or just walk away. Behavior we do not reward (by responding or paying attention to it) will eventually fade away.

Q: What would you suggest to people who make - and want to keep - their New Year's resolutions?

Koocher: New Year's resolutions are a great coping strategy for people who find themselves disappointed with some aspects of their lives, and can use the end of the calendar year as a motivating force. If you are serious about making changes in your life, I suggest limiting the number and scope of resolutions to no more than two or three (one is better still). Accompany the resolution (your goal) with a plan (a series of steps or way points) and a tentative timetable. Breaking the task down into small, realistically achievable steps will more likely lead to success, than simply setting a single end point. Placing reminders in your calendar along the way can recharge your resolve to stay on track.
posted Friday, 10-Nov-2006

In what state is your mind?

Life inflicts the same setbacks and tragedies on the optimist as on the pessimist, but the optimist weathers them better. The optimist bounces back from defeat, and, with his life somewhat poorer, he picks up and starts again. The pessimist gives up and falls into depression. Because of his resilience, the optimist achieves more at work, at school, and on the playing field. The optimist has better health and may even live longer. -- Martin E. P. Seligman

Challenge Your Negative Thoughts

The “ABCDE” method of disputing negative thoughts is designed to fight off and transform feelings of helpless pessimism when misfortune strikes. Many of us would speak up if co-workers or family members criticized us unfairly. But when negative, self-critical thoughts fill our own heads, we may have a hard time telling ourselves that we are wrong.

The ABCDE model goes like this:

Consider the Adversity (A) you are currently facing.
Examine your automatic beliefs (B) about the situation; first thoughts that enter your mind. Are they unreasonably pessimistic?
What are the usual consequences (C) of these thoughts? What feelings emerge? What actions usually follow?
Dispute (D) the routine belief to interrupt the cycle of pessimism and down-trodden self-pity. Argue with yourself.
You will feel energized (E) and ready to take on the problem.

Challenging and modifying your thinking will lead to different and healthier emotional and behavioral response. Be nice to yourself.

Suicide

Are you filled with sadness, fear, self-hatred, ruminating thoughts, negativity and more? Do you feel like things are never going to get any better?

"What is the point if I lost my job, lost my best friend, lost my freedom, lost my partner.....? I can't seem to pull myself out of this, no one really care and I feel so helpless...."

Are you wake at night thinking about all the things going on in your life, What you said, what you should have said, what you want to say, what you want to do? All the reasons that life it just too unbearable to continue....

We want to know all of this but what I REALLY want to know is what keeps you alive? This is just as important as your pain. What are your dreams, what are you connected to? Who do you love and why? What inside you keeps you going?

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary or transient problem. Life will change!!!!! There is no doubt about that...Make a choice, seek help. Depression and suicidal thoughts are VERY treatable. You can get help. You can feel better. Seek help now. 1-800-SUICIDE or local mental health center near you.

Simplicity

Keeping it simple creates an atmosphere of acceptance and trust. We can really tend to complicate life with our fears, worries, wants and unhealthy attachments. How do you learn to focus on what is truly important? How do you find out what is important to you?

Breathe and let go
Be in the moment
One moment, One thing, One being
Make the choice Love or Fear (there are no buts or ands)

Focus on the simplicity of life we are only here in the moment who knows what the next moment will bring.

Waiting....

The Waiting is the Hardest Part......

- Tom Petty

The Power of Choice

Every action has a reaction.

What we do makes an impact on others and on ourselves.

We have the power to create our own experiences.

With power comes great responsibility...

Be careful what you wish for and what thoughts you but into action because you may get exactly that!

Mental Health Treatment by Video Growing

Psychiatrists, often in need and hard to find in rural areas, are increasingly turning to video to treat their far-flung patients, illustrating one of the latest growth areas of telemedicine.

"Once the telemedicine session starts, it's no different than a face-to-face," said Dr. Umar Latif of the Dallas VA Medical Center, which has been offering psychiatric sessions over video for more than a year.

Video medical treatment increasingly is filling the gap in regions of the country where specialists are in short supply. And mental health appointments work especially well over video, enabling therapists to reach many patients who otherwise might not get help, experts say.

There are no figures on the number of doctors using telemedicine or telemental services, which can include appointments by video screen or telephone. But American Telemedicine Association spokesman Jonathan Linkous said the practice has been growing each year.

"We saw the need when we surveyed rural sites. We asked, 'What do you need, as far as specialists?' Psychiatry was the No. 1 need that we found," said Blue Cross spokeswoman Cindy Sanders.

"I think that it has virtually unlimited potential," said Dr. Terry Rabinowitz, medical director of telemedicine at University of Vermont College of Medicine. "Not only can we help folks in underserved areas in the United States, but with little _ comparatively speaking _ investment, we can do consultations worldwide."

We believe that other mental health services, such as counseling, will follow this trend to effectively and efficiently service clients from remote locations. We see our Counseling Connections service as cutting-edge for mental health treatment. Contact Us to learn more how we can service your mental health needs.

The Seven Deadly Habits of Truly Miserable People

1. Punishing
2. Complaining
3. Blaming
4. Threatening
5. Nagging
6. Criticizing
7. Bribing

Unless you have a couple of crossed wires or a genetic glitch in your brain cells, most of the emotional turmoil you experience is directly traceable to the fact that you've learned to try to control those around you through these seven deadly habits, says psychiatrist William Glasser, MD, president of the William Glasser Institute in Chatsworth, CA, and author of Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom

Read further about these deadly behaviors @ Misery. Let us know how we can help as well. Contact Us for a FREE consultation.

How Does Music Heal?

We are only now getting closer to a full understanding. Music affects us physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually. All we can say with certainty is that our responses to music are far more complex, subtle and far-reaching than we imagined.

Recall the parable about the blind men and the elephant: Each is sure they know the "truth" about an elephant’s nature, based on their perception of the trunk, the leg, or the tail. None of them sees the big picture.

Until recently, researchers have generally focused on easily observable physical effects, such as changes in blood flow through the fingertips or the speed of muscle reactions. We are now opening new vistas in the understanding of blood chemistry, the release of endorphins, and the connections between neuropeptides and emotions. The work of Dr. Gordon Shaw and associates has progressed far beyond their initial investigations into the apocryphal "Mozart Effect."

Steven Halpern’s , Inner Peace Music © expands on the way music provides us with healing properties. Link to his website to learn more, Inner Peace Music.

Fearlessness

Fearlessness is the the mastery of our fears and not the absence of fear. We can still experience fears but fearlessness allows us to accept, embrace and move thorough our fears. We can let situations in our lives harden our hearts to the point of resentment, shame and avoidance of others or we can allow them to soften us, increase our compassion and understanding. We can be a more open and loving human being because of our fearful experience. We have a choice!

Dalai Lama Speaks of Stress and Compassion

The Dalai Lama replied that early stress in life from poverty or abuse leads to negative emotions such as fear, jealousy and anger which turn into violence. Compassion and acceptance are keys to overcoming these obstacles. The compassion and total acceptance of a mother's love for her child is what brings us to heal from pain.

Dalai Lama, who spoke about how to cultivate happiness. "I feel for a successful and happy life much of it depends on our mental outlook," he said, as he sat cross-legged on a couch onstage. "The money, power or even health, I think is secondary. If mental state is calm, at peace, then you really enjoy your life."

"Aha"

Rather than tell people what to think, Socrates urged them to think for themselves. Why? Unless you can discover for yourself that something is true, unless you have a moment of insight, an, “Aha, now I see!” experience, you will not deeply understand an issue.
-- Judith Barad
Let us know how we can help with your discovery……

Partner

My partner is traveling this week; providing seminars in Minnesota. Running a mental health consultation business is rewarding in so many ways, especially when working together with a partner you respect, trust and appreciate. Although business goes on as usual while my partner is gone, the work is much more enjoyable and rewarding when we are collaborating on a daily basis, processing issues and concerns regarding our business, sharing frustrations and highlights and creating new ideas for our business future.

Our relationship is no different than other important and positive relationships that we all seek to create and maintain. These relationships are special in that they offer us feelings of belonging, affirmation, opportunity for personal growth and a sense of unity toward a common goal. Relationships are one key to a healthy and fulfilling life. Nurture and value these special relationships. Stop today and think about your relationships and how important they really are. Let your partner know how you feel.

Take Care of Yourself. Take a Nap!

Taking care of yourself means taking naps when our body and biological clock says you are tired. Research shows that taking a nap does not disrupt your evening sleep and actually can improve afternoon performance.

It's easy for many of us to ignore and neglect our own needs becuase we are "too busy" with work and family responsibilities. We "must" be available at all times to deal with problems that might arise. This is the old mantra about taking care of yourself. "If you don't take care of yourself, how can you take care of others?"

Enjoy your 15 minute nap! You will be more productive and feel much better.

Contact us for more ideas on how to be a healthier you.

Kids Who Witness Abuse at Home May Bully Others

Children who witness abusive behavior in the home are more likely to bully other children, and are at greater risk of depression and anxiety. A number of studies have shown that children exposed to domestic violence are at increased risk of behavior problems, but there has been little specific research on bullying. Bullying mirrors abusive relationships between adults, in that it involves recurrent aggression by a more powerful person over a less powerful one, with the intent to harm.

In a recent study, from the University of Washington in Seattle, researchers looked at the relationship between exposure to intimate partner violence and bullying involvement in 112 children aged 6 to 13. Half of their parents reported perpetrating verbal, physical or sexual violence against an intimate partner, or experiencing this type of violence, at least once in the past five years.

About one third of the children said they bullied other children in the past year, with girls more likely to bully others than boys. Nearly three quarters of the children said they had been victims of bullying by others and they were more likely to be physically aggressive to other children, and were more likely to report symptoms of anxiety or depression.

If you or your children have been victims of intimate partner violence, be watchful of signs that your children may be suffering ill-effects of those experiences.

Help is available……

Pediatrics, August 2006

Univeral Message

Be gentle
Your connection to the universe cannot be broken you are forever bonded
Things will change like the wind - they will change
Your grey hairs from love, life and relationships will bring you wisdom you can share
There is space for EVERYTHING in the universe
The universe will take care of you no matter what but you must seek it, humble yourself and ask for it
-The Universe

Forgiveness

"It's not that there is never a mistake or an evil motivation, but that there is something else as well. Forgiveness is the door to experiencing that something else."

-Hugh Prather

Not Like It Seems!!!!!! - Be Mindful.

Have you ever been adamant about something? I KNOW this person is trying to slight me, stab me in the back, stole something from me, etc. To find out later that your perception and thinking about the situation wasn't accurate. How do we find clarity when there is so much to filter through our own thoughts, feelings, previous reactions and experiences as well as others thoughts, feelings, reactions and previous experiences? Work at using skills to connect with this universal truth and MINDFULNESS.

OBSERVE - notice experiences without putting words to them.
DESCRIBE - now put words on what you observe without judgment (attempting to see how the world really is instead of what you think is happening)
PARTICIPATE - Enter into the experience, become one with the experience without judgment of yourself.

Contact Us...

Trust

It is only as I understand the feelings and thoughts which seem so horrible to you, or so weak, or so sentimental, or so bizarre--it is only as I see them as you see them, and accept them and you, that you feel really free to explore all the hidden nooks and frightening crannies of your inner and often buried experience. – Carl Rogers

Call Us……

Are Close Friendships Getting Harder to Find?

A new study finds more Americans than ever admitting to a decrease in their social circle, with many saying they have no one to tell their troubles to. The data also showed that friendships outside of the family are decreasing more than familial friendships, showing Americans' friendships as "a densely connected, close, homogeneous set of ties slowly closing in on itself, becoming smaller, more tightly interconnected, more focused on the very strong bonds of the nuclear family," the authors noted.

"The evidence shows that Americans have fewer confidants, and those ties are also more family-based than they used to be," study author Lynn Smith-Lovin, a professor of sociology at Duke, said in a prepared statement.

Considering this sociological trend, what is the likely outcome of shrinking social networks? What does it mean for those individuals who have few natural, family supports? It seems the natural progression due to this shift is a personal increase in social isolation resulting in increased feelings of detachment and depression. Many factors could be affecting this sociological shift; what we do as individuals to take care of ourselves as a result of it is the key.

Let us know how we can help.

The Power of Writing

This recent acticle, "The Write Stuff" speaks of a man who was able to connect to his feelings about having HIV in his ability to write. He was part of a group therapy that used writing as therapy. Writing can bring us to a space that other forms of communication cannot. It requires us to think and organize our thoughts in a way that makes sense, with descriptions and specifics about events, thoughts, feelings and behaviors. It allows us to step back a little and see the events from a different prospective. If you have not tried writing, give it a shot....for etherapy contact us...

Freedom from Suffering

Suffering is the sum of pain plus non-acceptance of our situation or condition. We suffer when we do not accept what is. We think about how it "should be".. Acceptance does not mean APPROVAL or liking something. It means accepting reality as it is. Suffering can and will distroy you. Pain plus acceptance is just ordinary pain and grief. We can live with ordinary pain. The key to FREEDOM from suffering is acceptance. Accept the moment. Contact Us.

Suicidal teens show lasting mental effects

Teenagers who contemplate suicide are likely to have emotional and behavioral problems that last throughout young adulthood, new study findings suggest.

The results, say the study authors, show that teens' suicidal thoughts need to be addressed not only because of the immediate danger, but also for their future well-being.

The study, published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, found that 15-year-olds who thought about suicide were more likely than other teens to become 30-year-olds with emotional, social and behavioral difficulties.

At age 30, they were twice as likely as their peers to have a psychiatric disorder such as anxiety or depression, and they were far more likely to have contemplated or attempted suicide in recent years.

Beyond overt psychiatric disorders, suicidal teens were also more likely to develop emotional and behavioral problems that pervaded their everyday lives.

If you were the type of teen described above, have a teenager you are concerned about currently or are personally struggling with current emotional or suicidal thinking, Contact US.

Depression Screening

Life is full of good times and bad, happiness and sorrow. But if you've been feeling "down" for more than a few weeks or are having difficulty functioning in daily life, you may be experiencing more than just the "blues." You may be suffering from a common yet serious medical illness called clinical depression.

The good news is clinical depression is highly treatable. Most people with depression, however, do not seek the professional help they need -- often because they don't know the symptoms, think depression will go away on its own, or are embarrassed to talk about how they're feeling.

One of the quickest and easiest ways to determine whether you have symptoms of depression is by taking a free, Depression Screening. Screening tests, such as the one on this web site, are not intended to provide a diagnosis for clinical depression. But they may help identify any depressive symptoms and determine whether a further evaluation by a medical or mental health professional is necessary. As with any other illness, you should see your doctor if you think you might have symptoms of depression.

For more about clinical depression, go to: www.depression-screening.org/ or contact us for a free mental health consultation. If you are reading this, you are ready…..

Parent and Teen Functions

Your teenager's function is to "turn against" you. Don't take this so personally. It's the leaving-the-nest stage. You are the parent. Relax into your destiny. Your function is never to turn against your teenager.

-Hugh Prather

Whew...It's Hot!

Are you irritable, short - tempered, negative, and just plain frustrated with life at this moment? It could be the heat! We are smack dab in the middle of the year and summer. The dog days of August have begun. "It's hot, it's sticky... don't touch me, give me some space"... Does this sound like you or your kids? What are we doing to take care of our physical and mental health? We hope that everyone is drinking plenty of liquids to pr0tect from dehydration. When we are feeling thirsty this already means that we are dehydrating. So practice some preventative medicine, carry a bottle of water with you at all times and you will be more apt to drink up. Limit exercise outside in the heat. Staying cool physically can go a long way to staying cool mentally. Go hang out in the mall or an air-conditioned movie theatre if you don't have air at home. Go to the beach, take a hose shower, run in the sprinkler with your kids......You will breathe a little easier and reduce the irritability you might be feeling due to the excessive heat. Enjoy the hot ones. They won't be here for long.

Let Go or Hold On?

I've learned that knowing when to let go is just as important as knowing when to hang on.

-Kenn

The Good in Everyone

"In every person who comes near you look for what is good and strong; honor that; try to imitate it, and your faults will drop off like dead leaves when their time comes."

-John Ruskin

Aging Parents: Five Warning Signs of Health Problems

Now that your parents are getting older, you want to make sure that they're taking care of themselves and staying healthy. But it's difficult to monitor the health of your aging parents from miles away. Use your next visit with your parents to ask about their health and find out if there's anything you can do to help them maintain their independence.

Sometimes your parents won't admit they need help around the house. Other times they just don't realize they need help. Here are five things to look for on your next trip home, to help you gauge whether your aging parents need assistance.


1. Have your aging parents lost weight?
2. Are your aging parents safe in their home?
3. Are your aging parents taking care of themselves?
4. How are your aging parents' spirits?
5. Are your aging parents having difficulty getting around?


Talk with your parents if you have any concerns about their health and safety. Knowing that you're concerned about their health may be all the motivation your parents need to see their doctor. Some parents may need a little more encouragement, so let them know that you care about them and that you're worried. Consider including other people who care about your parents in the conversation, such as other relatives, close friends or clergy.

Often times, we have our own histories with our parents that challenge how we relate to them in their older age; this can make interacting with them on a very basic level difficult let alone talking with them about and supporting them with their aging issues. As your parents age, their physical and emotional needs can change from an independent, self-sufficiency toward a greater reliance/dependency on those around them. In cases where your past family dynamics are perceived with unresolved negatives or conflicts this can trigger your own suppressed feelings from childhood. As these emotions surface and the relationship roles change between you and your parents, you may struggle with how to relate to and “help” them. Getting your own counseling at that point can prove beneficial. Contact Us……..

Anxiety and Depression: Battling Dual Disorders

Anxiety and depression, two mental illnesses that plague an enormous number of Americans, are deeply entwined. Anxiety disorders are the most common of all mental disorders and afflict 19.2 million adults, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Depression follows closely at more than 18.8 million. In about half of all depression and anxiety cases—the more severe cases, typically—a person who suffers from one will be affected by the other as well.

The combination punch is a lot for anyone to bear. Researchers cite a common “chicken or the egg” syndrome, where it’s unclear which disorder led to the other and complicated the patient’s condition. While this might make the climb out of a psychological hole feel longer and steeper, it’s encouraging to know that health-care professionals are very successful at treating the two in tandem.

Similarly, a pervasive perception remains that depression and anxiety stem from some mental weakness or inherent fault in a person’s constitution. People suffering from these disorders are hypersensitive to the world around them and often adapt misconceptions like these as their own. They can be haunted by the familiar refrain, “Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.” The sense of inadequacy people can feel while dealing with a mental disorder is further burdened by the notion that they are not even strong enough to rescue themselves. But by their very definitions, anxiety and depression are marked by incapacitation and a disruption in one’s ability to cope. Inadequacy is not a cause—it’s a symptom.

With the correct diagnosis combined with help from a compassionate and skilled professional, anxiety and depression are very treatable illnesses. Contact us for a FREE consultation.

Hypersensitivity in Relationships

Adults who are highly anxious can perceive changes in facial expressions more quickly than adults who are less anxious, a new study shows. By jumping to emotional conclusions, however, highly anxious adults may make more errors in judgment and perpetuate a cycle of conflict and misunderstanding in their relationships. "This 'hair trigger' style of perceptual sensitivity may be one reason why highly anxious people experience greater conflict in their relationships."

"The irony is that they have the ability to make their judgments more accurately than less-anxious people, but, because they are so quick to make judgments about others' emotions, they tend to mistakenly infer other people's emotional states and intentions," says Fraley.

If you are experiencing anxiety, difficulty in relationships and hypersensitivity to your environment and jumping to emotional conclusions contact us for assistance.

Fraley RC, Niedenthal PM, Marks M, Brumbaugh C, Vicary A.Adult Attachment and the Perception of Emotional Expressions: Probing the Hyperactivating Strategies Underlying Anxious Attachment J Pers. 2006 Aug;74(4):1163-90. [Abstract]

Child Development

It's time to change how we view a child's growth.

Do you know all the ways you should measure your child’s growth? We naturally think of height and weight, but from birth to 5 years, your child should reach milestones in how he plays, learns, speaks and acts. A delay in any of these areas could be a sign of a developmental problem, even autism. The good news is, the earlier it’s recognized the more you can do to help your child reach her full potential.

Parents interested in gaining more knowledge of child developmental milestones and parenting fact sheets, visit Learn the Signs, Act Early

Mental Health: What's Normal, What's Not

Determining what's normal and what's not is tricky. Scientists, researchers and mental health experts have wrestled with the issue for hundreds of years, and even today the line between normal and abnormal is often blurred.

"There's a huge range of what's normal," says Donald E. Williams, Ph.D., a psychologist at Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. "But there are also many types of mental disorders — thoughts, feelings or behaviors that are abnormal."

What's normal is often determined by who's defining it. Normalcy is ambiguous and often rooted in value judgments particular to a certain culture or society. And even within cultures, concepts of normalcy may change over time, particularly if influenced by evolving societal values or expectations. New medical research and knowledge can also lead to changes in definitions of normalcy.

One thing that makes it so difficult to distinguish normal versus abnormal mental health is that you can't simply be tested for it. There's no MRI or blood test for obsessive-compulsive disorder, no ultrasound for depression, no X-ray for bipolar disorder. That's not to say mental disorders aren't biologically based, because they are linked to chemical changes within the brain, and scientists are beginning to map those changes visually. But there's no physiological diagnostic test for mental illness.

To learn more about defining “mental illness”, go to Normal or Not or contact us for a FREE, individualized initial consultation.

Life ain't fair...what are you going to do about it?

I've learned that life doesn't turn out like we want it to sometimes, but making the most of how it turns out is the best way to be happy. There will always be things that just don’t work out and you just have to make the best of it. There is no guarantee that life will be fair, it’s up to you to make it the way that works for you.

- Kenn

Therapy Better Than Sleep Meds for Insomnia

Cognitive behavioral therapies (CBT) such as relaxation techniques are more effective than sleep medications for insomnia. The findings, reported in the June 28 issue of JAMA found a greater improvement in sleep patterns among individuals who received cognitive behavioral therapy interventions than those who received the sleep medication zopiclone.

Among primary care physicians, the treatment of choice for insomnia has commonly been prescription medication. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the most widely used psychological intervention for insomnia. At present, CBT-based interventions for insomnia are not widely available in clinical practice, and future research should focus on implementing low-threshold treatment options for insomnia in primary care settings.

Telephone consultations and CBT-based group therapy for younger patients with insomnia produced equally significant improvements as individual therapy sessions. In another study, CBT delivered via the Internet in a self-help format showed significant improvements in individuals with chronic insomnia.
CBT and Sleep

Depression Is A Family Matter

Depression is not just a medical matter. It's a family one, too.

The behaviors and mood of a depressed person affect the whole family. There's the irritability, which sets off conflicts and derails family dynamics. The negative thought patterns, which become a prism of pessimism for everyone. The withdrawal that literally disrupts relationships and breeds wholesale feelings of rejection. There are major responsibilities that get displaced. There is a general burden of stress.

And yet, families can be major forces of care, comfort, even cure. They are crucial to proper recognition and treatment of the disorder, not just at the beginning but throughout. They are the de facto caregivers, willingly or not. They contribute powerfully to the emotional atmosphere the depressed person inhabits, and so can be agents of recovery. Or not.

Yes, depression has a huge impact on families. And families have a huge impact on depression.

Nassir Ghaemi, M.D., assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard, contends it's not even desirable to make the correct diagnosis of depression without the family. For one thing, many people -- particularly those at either end of the age spectrum and those with medical conditions -- don't realize they are depressed or may attribute symptoms to other things. The perspective of family members is useful.

Read more about the role and function of family and the depressed patient @ Depression is a Family Matter or Contact us for a clinical consultation.

Just like a teenager!

It's Friday! I think this means it's time to have a little fun.

I want to tell you a story about some squirrels that moved into our home some time ago. They were uninvited!

When I first moved out to this house 7 years ago, I was so careful about using live traps and I tried to think about how the animals and my family could live in harmony in the woods. It didn’t take too long before I started calling anything that invaded my space, “home wreckers” and if you were a “home wrecker” this means, war and I was taking you out dead or alive! I have never owned a gun or shot a gun in my life but last week I asked a friend of mine to loan me one. Remember in the cartoons when the crazy country person starts shooting up their house, if I had a gun I swear I would have been trying to shoot those squirrels through the ceiling and rafters.

My husband and I tried everything we could think of live traps, poisoning, trapping them inside, nothing was working and they were distroying our home. Our home I say....It was time for the professionals!

I called Barry from SW Michigan Pest Control. He came right out and got to work and set two live traps. Nothing! The next day he set a kill trap at the base of the tree and cut two holes for the squirrels to come in and out of with kill traps covering the holes. The bait was taken and one of the traps triggered but NO SQUIRREL. All the while, I can hear them running around back and forth, playing, rolling nuts, laughing and laughing...Ha, Ha, Ha! (This is really when the gun would have been a bad idea.) Barry came out the next day and said he had been thinking about this all night. I could tell because he was beginning to look a little disheveled. He was starting to look a little traumatized but I decided that he wasn't in need of a crisis intervention yet. He made a board to cover the holes with kill traps, covered any other place they could get out and put more bait in the traps. I could hear them again in the evening and SNAP! I run outside to see the kill trap has been triggered again! NO SQUIRREL. Really, I have no way of understanding how these squirrels could do this without getting caught. Barry is about fit to be tied and says, “You can fire me if you want, I have never been unable to catch an animal and you don't have to pay me.” (I think he wanted me to put him out of his misery and rid him of this hell job, but I didn't.) He noticed that somehow they have even gotten the bait out of the live traps, too! Ha! Ha! He had been at our home 3 times daily for 3 days in a roll. Barry noticed that they are making holes other places to get out and destroying our home even more, Home Wreckers!

So he decided to take the trap off the opening and set up other traps in the area. I noticed not soon after Barry left there was a lot of activity going on and I think I saw one carrying another squirrel…I haven’t heard much this morning and I am so hoping that they decided to move out yesterday!

You ask, "What does this have to do with a teenager?" I found myself chuckling to myself at how insane this chase had become with these squirrels. The more we tried to out smart, and control them it seemed the more oppositional and distructive the squirrels became. We were definitely putting pressure on them like you would do with a teen that you wanted to straighten up and fly right. Barry kept saying to have patience and they will come around, "We will get them." When provided a safe opening for the squirrels to leave after much pressure they decided to leave and make the choice that was going to most healthy for them. Sometimes as parents we need to let go a little to allow the teen enough space to make a good decision on their own.

Anxiety and Financial Problems

In this day and age with people seeking bigger homes, bigger cars, and increased wants with limited increase in salaries over the past couple years, people have maxed out credit cards, second mortgages, personal loans and extended equity credit lines. People are feeling overextended and increasingly anxious.

Dr. Irvin Wolkoff said Thursday of the findings of the report commissioned by Desjardins Financial Security, which sells life and health insurance. "This kind of empty pursuit of money - which is in the end unsatisfying - is generating a tremendous amount of stress, which in turn is producing a lot of anxiety, depression and physical illness," Wolkoff said.

Sustained anxiety can increase risk of heart related illnesses and other physiological concerns. If you are having difficulty managing stress and anxiety due to financial concerns contact us.

Point of View Matters

Our perception of our surrounds and environment effects how we see the world. An article published in the recent issue of Perspectives on Psychological Science studies how fatigue, physical ability and potential bodily endangerment effect how we view our environment. The study shows that when people are tired or fearful they see hills as bigger, roads as longer or packages as heavier.

The study indicates that point of view matters. It impacts our decision making, thinking, behaviors and emotions. Increased awareness of this phenomenon can improve our decision making skills. It also gives us insight into how to lead a more balanced life. Being well rested and receiving regular exercise can help us have a more accurate perception of our environment.

Helping

My role as a helper is not to do things for the person I am trying to help, but to be things, not trying to control and change his/her actions, but through understanding an awareness to change my reactions. I will change my negatives to positives; fear to faith; contempt for what he/she may do to respect for the potential within him/her; hostility to understanding; and manipulation or over-protectiveness to release with love, not trying to make him/her fit a standard or image, but giving him/her an opportunity to pursue his/her own destiny, regardless of what that choice may be.

Self-pity blocks effective action.
The more I indulge in it, the more I feel that the answer to my problems is a change in others and society, not in myself. Thus, I become a hopeless case.

Exhaustion is the result when I use my energy in mulling over the past with regret, or in trying to figure ways to escape a future that has yet to arrive. Projecting an image of the future, and anxiously hovering over it, for fear that it will or it won't come true uses all of my energy and leaves me unable to live today. Yet living today is the only way to have a life.
I will have no thought for the future actions of others, neither expecting them to be better or worse as time goes on, for in such expectations I am really trying to create. I will love and let be.
All people are always changing. If I try to judge them I do so only on what I think I know of them, failing to realize that there is much I do not know. I will give others credit for attempts at progress and for having had many victories which are unknown to me.
I too am always changing, and I can make that change a constructive one, if I am willing. I CAN CHANGE MYSELF, others I can only love.

Gratitude

Gratitude is a sentiment we'd all do well to cultivate, according to positive psychologists, mental health clinicians and researchers who seek to help everyone create more joy in life. Feeling thankful and expressing that thanks makes you happier and heartier—not hokier. Simple exercises can give even skeptics a short-term mood boost, and "once you get started, you find more and more things to be grateful for," says Robert Emmons, a leading gratitude researcher at the University of California at Davis.

Gratitude needn't be directed at another person to hit its mark. Take just a few minutes each day to jot down things that make you thankful, from the generosity of friends to the food on your table or the right to vote. After a few weeks, people who follow this routine "feel better about themselves, have more energy and feel more alert," Emmons says. Feeling thankful even brings physical changes, studies show. List-keepers sleep better, exercise more and gain a general contentment that may counteract stress and contribute to overall health.

When individuals start a daily gratitude journal, they begin to feel a greater sense of connectedness to the world. "The differences are noticed by others," Emmons says. "People who know them say they're more helpful." Thankfulness may launch a happy cycle in which rich friendships bring joy, which gives you more to be grateful for, which fortifies your friendships once again.

Even a simple "thank you" spurs people to act in compassionate ways they might not otherwise consider. People thanked for giving directions help more willingly in the future, social workers who get thank-you letters visit their clients more often, and diners whose waiters write "thanks" on the check give bigger tips.

Call it corny, but gratitude just may be the glue that holds society together.

For more on this topic of Gratitude, visit Make a Gratitude Adjustment.

e-Therapy is the Trend

In telemedicine today, the doctor is in -- and online. The medical profession has been developing telehealth technology for more than 35 years; integration of classic telemedicine (using telecommunications to provide health information and services) and telehealth technologies was the next step.

Some experts say Web-based therapy is the wave and the way of the future. Every day a growing number of people depend on the Web for advice and emotional support. Some look to the Internet for convenience, others for anonymity. High costs and low company co-pays, send some people shopping for bargain fees online. Aside from the issues of legality and legitimacy, several questions remain. Can an online mental-health practitioner can get a true sense of person's real-life situation and then adequately render service? Should the mental health community look at the numbers of people who seek counseling online and work to find ways to improve it instead of getting caught up in an emotional debate over its nuances? Should practitioners concentrate on all innovative therapies in the hope of meeting the mental-health needs of the next generation?

A local professor, who recently sought online counseling and had a positive experience, describes it this way: You moped away your week at the lake, you haven't showered in days. If you sat with a therapist, you'd worry that you looked bad and sounded worse. Or maybe it's not a good day outside for crutches, a walker or a wheelchair. Or your big meeting starts in an hour and you feel panic rising up in your chest. Or your glorious romance of three years just disintegrated. Or lots of little things have built up, and you feel like you're about to implode. You know there's no danger of you doing something egregious, but your problems are still very real. You feel safe there at your computer. That's when the right therapy for you might be waiting online.

Sticks and Stones

Abuse of any kind can have long-term detrimental effects on us. Physical and sexual abuse incidents frequently gain the most media attention. Emotional, psychological and economic abuse consequences are less obvious but the damage done is equally insidious and long-lasting. Researchers at Florida State University in Tallahassee report that repeated verbal abuse from parents can contribute to depression and anxiety that lasts well into adulthood. "Those who were verbally abused had 1.6 times as many symptoms of depression and anxiety as those who had not been verbally abused and were twice as likely to have suffered a mood or anxiety disorder in their lifetime," study author Natalie Sachs-Ericsson, an FSU professor, said in a prepared statement. Poor self-esteem triggered by verbal abuse during childhood continues into adulthood, allowing the symptoms of anxiety and depression to settle, the researchers said. But, they added, therapy offers hope for these victims.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps people replace their self-critical, irrational thoughts with more affirming, positive thinking. CBT has shown remarkable positive outcomes in reframing people’s thoughts, challenging and impacting their beliefs, altering their emotional and behavioral responses and ultimately reshaping a once damaged personal self-esteem.

Learning our Lessons!

We are often given opportunities for growth. It is our weakness that usually challenges us. There are so many ways of learning and one of those is to learn through tragedy, pain and hurt. What about learning and growing through our feelings of JOY? Do we need to take the unpaved, gravel, pitted dirt road? Sometimes we do! I prefer though to learn through JOY and love. Make every effort to create JOY and Happiness in your life. Laugh at yourself! We humans can be foolish animals. It is another day, don’t take it so seriously. If there is one thing that we all know in our wise mind (inner knowing) is that life WILL change. What can you do to focus it towards positive change? Smile, just for a moment!

When Do I Need Help?

This is a great question! How do you know when you are in need of mental health care? Everyone experiences emotions such as fear, sadness, anger, guilt, grief, regret, etc. These emotions are part of the human condition. It is normal for all of us to experience these emotions at times in our lives as well as the feelings of joy, happiness, euphoria and more. It is when our emotions and the management of our emotions start to interfere with our ability to function effectively at home, work, school or social situations that there is a real call to seek assistance. When fear keeps you from being able to go out of your home or keeps you from being able to perform in the work place are good indicators you are struggling; but DON'T wait until these symptoms significantly effect your functioning. When you or family/friends start to notice that you are struggling in these areas, this is the time to get help. The sooner you get help, the quicker your recovery will be!
Contact Us if you have questions about when to seek help.

Alternatives to Traditional Mental Health, Revisited

As we all know, life seems to be getting more and more complicated and fast paced. More research is emerging validating the effectiveness of e-mail and telephone consultations. There are new words and descriptors to describe these services telemental health, telecounseling, e-counseling, e-therapy, e-chat, teletriage and telehealth. Technology is changing how we connect with each other. (Telephones, Cell phones, Email, blogging, chat, instant messaging) There are so many options and ways for people to connect these days. These advancements in technology is also making an impact on how we can seek understanding of our families. These new ways of communicating are breaking down barriers, such as busy schedules, immobilizing personal fears, transportation issues and other limitations that restrict our attainment of who we were created to be and the quality of family life we are seeking.

In response to this, Counseling Connections has embraced these new and innovative ways of connecting with families and providing quality mental health services. This alternative vehicle improves our availability, accessibility and fills a niche for those who are unable or unwilling to seek other forms of assistance.

Read more about how our e-counseling service works……

Troubled Marriage?

Is there trouble in paradise? There might be if the communication style between you and your spouse is one of avoidance, explosiveness, blaming or non-existent. Life with another person = different needs, understandings and viewpoints! How you as a couple and family communicate and resolve conflicts may determine how often you feel you are living in paradise. As much as it sounds cliche and oversimplistic, it is imperative to tell your your spouse the wonderful things about him or her and to be thankful for the little things that you do for each other, (making breakfast, coffee in the morning, driving to pick up dry cleaning - the small considerate things we do make a big difference if they are noticed). If your spouse feels like they are being taken for granted, there may be built up resentment. If you are sensing or if there are overt difficulties in the areas of money, sex or children, get help now! These are the biggest issues that break down a marriage and the longer you wait to get help the harder it is to repair the "troubled marriage". Contact Us!

Laugh It Up

Laughter is good for you and your family's mental and physical well-being.

Some mental health professionals say humor is one of the best ways to relieve stress, and research proves that laughter plays a key role in human life. A good laugh loosens muscles, lowers blood pressure, and may lower levels of hormones that create stress and weaken immunity. When you laugh, your body moves blood to your heart and lungs, boosting your energy level and making you feel better instantly. It also aids communication and creates a sense of closeness between you and the people you’re laughing with.

Until recently, researchers knew that laughing was good for us, but they didn’t really understand how. New evidence points to changes in the brain—not the imaginary funny bone—as the source for laughter. Researchers found that when people laugh, a part of the brain’s reward system is triggered. In this reward system, a person feels pleasure and wants to have the same pleasant feelings over and over again. The areas in the brain triggered by humor are the same ones that are triggered by drugs like amphetamines and cocaine.

Laughing and fun go hand-in-hand and laughing together as a family will bring you closer together, improve your mental and physical health, and may help prevent your child from using drugs. Look for laughs to stay healthy!

At times we all struggle to find joy and humor in our life; this could be a sign of a more serious mental health issue. Contact us to discuss if this is could be true for you.

Is It Raining Again?

For over a week it seems we have had these cloudy and raining days....It's depressing. Just as the Spring was waking us to the longer days, sun and milder weather we have this rain spell. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for the rain! We need rain, the plants, gardens, earth needed more rain in our area. Balance between the two would feel great! But like us humans I guess mother nature struggles to find the balance of life, too. If you are looking to create more balance in your life, take the responsibility to do so. No one can do it for you. You have what it takes to create what your heart desires! Contact Us!

Stress

If we had a way to measure our stress, then perhaps we could not only monitor it but identify more specifically what situations and factors contribute to it. The word “stress” seems to be a catch-all word we use when life’s pressures and our coping with them is out of balance. “I am stressed out” or “I can’t deal with all this stress” or “This is stressful”. In other words, the internal or external demands, pressures, or expectations are exceeding our ability to handle these factors in an effective or healthy manner. Our capacity to manage stress is very individual and person to our own personality, tolerance levels and learned coping skills. Stress can come and go or at times seem longer-lasting.

To obtain a measure of your stress and learn more about the effects of stress, link to this interactive stress screening at Stress and click on “find out your stress level”. This tool may offer some initial information on your current stress level and areas that could be responsible for it.

With our help as well, you can learn effective ways to handle the stress in your life. We cannot eliminate stress in our lives; but we can be prepared to respond to it in ways that can make it less overwhelming. Contact us!

Trust

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

-Kenn

Thanks Kenn for your words of wisdom...Trust is powerful yet vunerable. If you are attempting to rebuild trust in relationships maybe we can help. Check out some tips to help with your relationship or Contact Us.

Vanity Sizing, Self-Esteem and Body Image

What is vanity sizing? Over the past couple of decades women's sizing has changed. For example if you used to wear a size 10 and you are the same weight and size but now when you are shopping for new slacks suddenly a size 10 is way too big!!!! Manufacturers realize of course that women would rather say they are a size 5 than 10, so they are sizing clothing differently to supposedly make women feel better. For women or teens who has a low self-esteem or distorted body image this maybe a trigger for increased obsessive thoughts about their weight and size. Striving to be that size 0! How can anyone be a "size 0"? If you think about what it means 0 means nothing....a size nothing??

Seek help if you notice you are obsessing about your weight or you have a daughter you are concerned about.

What Holds You Back

At times in all our lives we struggle with emotional turmoil brought about by relationship stress and/or other internal conflicts. As human beings, with our connection to other human beings, it is inherent in our species that tensions, frustrations, and personality conflicts will occur. Some of us have developed coping strategies or have dispositions that allow us to self-manage most of these stressors. But, we all, every one of us, have a point at which our ability to self-manage is overwhelmed by the shear number or intensity of stressors in our lives. It is a those times, hopefully, we reach out to others that can help us through.

Ironic, in a way, our connectedness to others often results in our distress, just as that same connection to others can aid us in relief from those challenges. Knowing what holds you back from seeking that help from others is key to preparing for you to get it. Some of us turn to our church, our family, or our friends for support during trying times. This connecting can effectively provide us with those needs of feeling loved, important, and valued. That can help us get back on track. Sometimes we think a more neutral, non-judgmental, unbiased professional influence is what is best. Either way, it’s the knowing when we need to reach out and what is holding us back that effects the next step of getting help.

If you need a more unbiased, professional input. Contact us. We can help.

Confidence

Who has self-confidence will lead the rest. --HORACE, Epistles

Words of encouragement, affirmation, positive feedback, kudos and other self-esteem improving dynamics often make the difference between self-doubt and self-confidence. It is an outside-inside process whereby we develop self-confidence through the growth process of taking risks within the world around us, making mistakes, assessing our trials and hopefully throughout it all we receive encouragement from someone about our strengths and abilities.

For those who feel they have never achieved self-confidence in all or certain areas of their life, it’s time to move ahead. We can help with the “outside” affirming and guiding part of that learning process. Contact us if that is your goal.

Take Action - Make It Happen!

Ideas are meaningless
without action,
Don't procrastinate
be a person of action!

Intertwined

In relationships there is this intermingling that occurs. A giving and taking a joining in pain, sorrow and happiness. Are you feeling controled in your relationship?

This artwork by Tim Sabados. Check out his website for more of his art.

Contact Us if your relationships have become so tangled that you need some help to smooth out the rough spots.

6 Tips on what it takes to have a healthy relationship?

Research indicates that many of us think that being with someone is better than being alone. Relationships are a very important part of our lives; we are social creatures and enjoy the company of others. Relationships provide us with are much joy and at times, pain. It is when people struggle in relationships that they seek understanding.

DON’T WAIT – Research indicates that people wait way too long before seeking help. Don’t put it off! The longer you wait the increased possibility of continued damage to the relationship. (Gottman, 1999)
BE GENTLE - Treat your partner with love, acceptance and respect. Be gentle in your tone, facial expressions and verbal speech.
VALIDATE – Put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Express your genuine thankfulness for the relationship and affirm your strengths as individuals and as a couple.
TAKE IT EASY – Don’t take things so seriously. If the garbage wasn’t taken out for the 3rd week in a row, discuss it but choose to do it with ease and a light heart instead of blaming and using words like “always and never”. These are irrational and damaging to a relationship.
EDIT YOURSELF – As couples become more comfortable with each other they have a tendency to say the first things that come to their mind. Think about what you are going to say before you say it and how it might be perceived by your partner. (Gottman, 1999)
SEX – Have sex on a regular basis. Make it a priority in your life and relationship. Research indicates couples who have sex frequently and arguments infrequently are happier.


It seems that relationships are what create the most happiness in our lives as well as most struggles. We can give you the tools you need to get through these difficult times. Get help now don’t wait until it’s too late. Your persistence, determination and motivation can make the difference. Contact Us!

Legitimate, Licensed Mental Health Professionals

With so much written today about online predators, scams, identity theft, etc, it’s no wonder people are wary of purchasing anything or contacting anyone over the internet. When we developed our idea, Counseling Connections, to offer and provide online telemental health services, we were mindful that folks may not trust who they were getting involved with and in particular whether we were legitimate professionals.

In an effort to allow people to verify our professional licenses for themselves, we have provided this direct link to the Michigan Department of Community Health - Psychology license verification system. Just enter our License # and our profession as “Psychology” and this will link you directly to our individual license information.

Craig - # 6301009345
Kathlene - # 6301008741

http://www.cis.state.mi.us/free/default.asp

Let us know how we can help.

Shyness

Are you shy? Is your shyness interfering with your dreams, your day-to-day functioning, your relationships? Check out some facts about shyness and get ready to change this trait to improve your future.

In Dr. Steven Bressert’s article on, Facts About Shyness, he states, “Many people don’t know the basics about shyness. Some people think it’s just something people will grow out of with time. For most people, shyness is learned. But for some, shyness starts in infancy, with about 10 to 15% of newborns born “inhibited” (about as many are born “bold”), but for most shy people shyness is learned at some later time in life with as many as 40 to 60% of adults report being currently shy people.” For more about shyness, go to Facts About Shyness.

When you are ready, give us a call. We can help you overcome your shyness so that it no longer controls your life.

Living in Fear

Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.
YODA, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

We all experience fear; it is a natural human emotion. Fear responses aid us in protecting us from external real or perceived threats to our well-being. Differentiating between real and imagined fear is very difficult; it is subjective to the individual. How is it some people are able to remain calm in the face of real threats and danger, i.e. home intruder, life threatening accident, imminent death? And how is it that others become extremely fearful to the point of being functionally incapacitated when confronted with public speaking, going outside their home, driving, etc?

For those who experience this level of suffering and dysfunction, we can help. Our online counseling service is provided by licensed and experienced mental health professionals; we have been helping others with fear-related situations for over 20 years. Contact us today. Why continue to suffer?

Real

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, REALLY loves you, then you become Real. It doesn't happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

From The Velveteen Rabbit
Margery Williams

At times we struggle with feelings of worthlessness or feeling unloved. We wonder if we are unloveable, seemingly unimportant to others. We seek affirmation and validation and through others we define just how loveable we really are. If you are struggling with these feelings, we can help. Contact Us today.

Stressed Out - 7 Ways to Relieve It!

Is it that the car breaks down, the kids arguing, the school calling, the husband coming home late, multiple sporting events to get to, the 9-5 or a combination of all of these? With living brings pressures and stress. Each of us cope with these feelings in different ways. Some people might feel overwhelmed if their car breaks down while others it might take the car, the kids and the husband. As humans, we all have limits! (I know this might come as a surprise to some of you that you do not have an infinite capacity to do and care for others.) Stress is a nonspecific response of the body and emotions to any demand made upon it. At some point our usual coping skills may become overloaded.

Here are 7 Ways to Relieve Stress:

1. EXERCISE – Get out, go for a walk or a run. Soak up some Vitamin D from the sun. Go to the gym. Get moving. Carve out space at least 3 times a week to take care of your physical body.
2. PRIORITIZE – Make a list and tackle the most important responsibilities first.
3. LET GO! - Decide that what things you might be able to let go of. Maybe you don’t have to see your son practice every night and a friend can bring him back from practice.
4. BREATHE – Don’t forget to breathe. When we are feeling stressed our bodies natural reaction is to tense up and hold our breath which reduces the oxygen to the brain that provides us with our rational thinking power.
5. RELAX – Take a break. Take warm shower or bath. This can decrease the stress chemicals and relax your system.
6. ACCEPT – Acceptance of what is in the moment.
7. IDENTIFY TRIGGERS – We all have behaviors, emotions, situations, thoughts that trigger irrational or maladaptive responses. Identify what these are. For example, someone starts to blame you for something you did not do. If this triggers extreme emotions that causes stress, make note of this and what you can do differently in the future.

If you are still struggling with managing your stress and need someone to help you figure out how to maximize your potential. Contact Us! We look forward to hearing from you and partnering with you to find the balance you are seeking in your life.

Counseling Connections Guidelines

Kathlene B. LaCour MA, Ltd Licensed Psychologist

State of Michigan Masters Psychologist License # 6301008741

Craig S. Judd MA, Ltd Licensed Psychologist

State of Michigan Masters Psychologist License # 6301009345

9429 Marsh RoadPlainwell, Michigan 49080 Or 151 E. Emmett StreetBattle Creek, Michigan 49017

(269)929-1292

http://www.counselingconnections.blogspot.com/

Email: Interface_consultation@comcast.net

More and more reports and research (International Society for Mental Health Online http://www.ismho.org/ for research and data on online mental health services) have been validating the effectiveness of phone counseling, email consultations and ways, other than traditional psychotherapy, of connecting with people in a therapeutic manner. Studies have found that telemental health services break down treatment barriers , such as the stigma of seeing a mental health professional, immobilizing personal fears, transportation issues and other limitations that restrict consumer's attainment of traditional psychotherapy services.As a society evolves, advances in technology capability are making mental health services available to a larger, historically isolated population of consumers. These options have not been available to these individuals in the past. As our society and mental health services evolve, We choose to embrace the opportunities to provide online and telecounseling services. We are excited about our ability to offer increased flexibility while maintaining quality counseling services.This guide is intended to give you a roadmap about us and how to access our services as well as answer some frequently asked questions.

Is Online Services Right for You?

Online e-counseling and telecounseling are helpful for:
· People with busy schedules - It can be convenient and easy to access services.
· People who have physical disabilities.· Consumers that may lack access to regular transportation.
· Clients who are embarrassed to go to traditional psychotherapy.
· People who struggle with anxiety disorders and have difficulty going to an office.

Our E-counseling and telecounseling are provided by licensed psychotherapists and although it is not the same as traditional face-to-face psychotherapy, it is therapeutic! Research indicates that e-counseling and telecounseling works.These services are not meant to replace traditional face-to-face services. If the e-counselor determines that more traditional services would be beneficial, a referral may be recommended.

Prepare Yourself

· Verify our licensures: http://www.cis.state.mi.us/free/default.asp or call (517) 241-9427. Please make sure you have both first and last name, Psychology Department and license #.
· Kathlene B. LaCour Psychology License # 6301008741
· Craig S. Judd Psychology License # 6301009345

· When getting started with us, know what you are asking for.
. Do you need support and guidance with a one specific issue or several issues?
· Organize your thoughts and be clear about what you need.
· Would you prefer a male or female?· Have an idea about what you are hoping to achieve, what your expectations are, and how your life will be different after using these services.
· The internet can be a wonderful source of information.

Use it to prepare yourself but realize that not all the information on the web is based in sound research. Be careful of sources. National Institute for Mental Health is wonderfully informative http://www.nimh.nih.gov

· Free Online Counseling is available, complete a search for these services. This may be all that you need! There are many online services out there, again be careful. Check for competency, licensure and credentialing by the state that the therapist lives in.

Ethical Considerations

If you are already in traditional psychotherapy continue with your current treatment provider. If you are currently in treatment, we will refer you back to your treatment provider. Don’t ask us to give a second opinion over the internet.
If you are in crisis and need immediate assistance please contact your local community mental health center. They will talk with you and see that you get the help that you need. If you are having thoughts of suicide, take yourself seriously and get the help that you need. Get off the computer and call 1-800-784-2433 or 1-800-273-8255.

We are professional psychotherapists who follow ethical best practice for our clients. We will be responsible in our interaction and care we provide you. We are committed to ethical and legal standards of our profession and we will uphold the same standards in e-counseling and telecounseling. We are members of the International Society of Mental Health Online.

National Board of Certified Counselors Practice Guidelines: http://www.nbcc.org/webethics2

Getting Started With US!

The initial e-consultation or telemental health consultation is FREE!

What to expect:
· We will ask you to review this document.
· We want to know more about you and your reason for contacting us.
Usually there are areas of expertise for therapist. If we do not feel we have enough training and expertise in the area, we will let you know.
· A “good match”. We will discuss what your expectations are and what you are seeking in a therapist. We may talk about personality and treatment style. It is very important to us that we are able to be helpful to you or if we are not a “good match” that we refer you to someone who might be.
· We will make every effort to determine if a patient is a minor and contact the legal guardian for consent.
· We will discuss our availability and how to contact us. Every effort will be made to respond to emails within no more than 48 hrs. If there are technology issues contact us by phone (269)929-1292.
· Confidentiality will be addressed and risks to confidentiality. Encrytion software is available. The biggest risk to confidentiality, in our experience, is the home. Take care to protect your own privacy in your home. Get separate and free email account to use for you e-counseling sessions or make sure your email is password protected.
WE will discuss how and how long session data is being preserved.
· Discuss what forms of e-therapy communication are available through Counseling Connections and what form would work best for You!

Services We Offer and Fees

Email Consultation – This is the most popular form of Online Counseling. You may purchase a Single or group of consultations for Adults.
One Consultation - $39.95
Group of Three Consultations - $ 107.95 (10% savings)

Online Chat – Real time interactive conversation and communication through a text message window on your computer. We offer this service for adults. These need to be scheduled after the initial consultation, being aware of time zones.

Online Chat – 20 minutes $24.95
Online Chat – 40 minutes $49.90
Online Chat – 60 minutes $69.95

Telephone Consultation - Scheduled time blocks for adults, again being aware of time zones.
Telephone Consultation - 20 minutes $24.95
Telephone Consultation - 40 minutes $49.90
Telephone Consultation - 60 minutes $69.95
Group of Three – 60 minutes $ 199.95

Initial Consultation with Us is FREE!
Email interface_consultation@comcast.net
Blogsite: www.counselingconnections.blogspot.com
Phone: (269) 929-1292

Payment Options

PayPal Secured Site Payment
Use MasterCard or Visa or a Debit Card with MasterCard or Visa Logo.This is the quickest, easiest and most secure way to start services with us. Services must be prepaid. You can find Payment Buttons on our site www.counselingconnections.blogspot.com

If you are anxious about fraud the best way to pay for services is to use a credit card. Anything over $50.00 in fraud charges you are not responsible for. Read the fine print on your credit card agreement or call your Credit Card Company.

Writing a CheckSend to our business addresses:

Counseling Connections
9429 Marsh Rd Plainwell, Mi 49080
151 Emmett St. Battle Creek, Mi 49017

Let us know how to contact you when your check clears so that we can help you get back on track. Of course this process will take longer but we are willing to work with you if this is the option that you choose.

Reimbursement:

Some insurance companies are reimbursing for these services but most are not at thiss time.

Flexible Spending Account:

Check with your account administrator you may be able to set aside money tax- free for the medical expense.You can turn in receipts to these programs for medical expenses that are not reimbursed by your health insurance such as over the counter medication, vision or dental treatments not covered and dependent care expenses.

Welcome to Counseling Connections!
We look forward to working with you.
We are so glad that you have decided to take the first step to make the changes that you are seeking in your life.
Don’t hesitate to call or email us!
We are caring and compassionate professionals who want to see you on your way to a happier and healthier YOU.

What are you waiting for?

Your income tax return? Are you waiting until your children get out of school? Are you waiting until your husband or wife gets home? Are you waiting until you pay off your home mortgage? Until you retire? Until your vacation?

The time is now to follow your dreams. Today is the Day to seek who you truly are. Get motivated! No one can do it for you, but we can help. Need someone to get you motivated, give you that little nudge to seek your potential - Contact Us for a FREE consultation.

Everyone is always trying to cram so much into their schedules. I say fight back, take a stand, and take a nap!

-Thanks, Kenn for your thoughts - Learning about Life has It's Pitfalls

They Come and They Stay

Partnerships take on various forms. There are marriage partners, significant other partners, and partners in crime, business partners and partners of other sorts. True, healthy partnerships do not occur by chance or by coincidence; they are grown; the foundation of a partnership needs to be tended to with sensitivity, respect, nurturance, attention, mindfulness and an overall desire to have the partnership endure. Some partnerships come and many go; they are transient, fleeting, often based on superficial and short-lived objectives or agendas; they are not “in it for the long haul” this may be the nature of the partnership.

I am very fortunate to have experienced and benefited from the enduring partnership-type, both at home and in business. That is not to say the benefits have nothing to do with personal efforts to maintain and grow the relationships. But, without a doubt, having these experiences at both home and business has tremendous personal and professional advantages.

What does it take to foster these healthy partnerships?

Patience, acceptance, respect, regard, listening, disclosing, motivation to make it work regardless of external pressures or distractions, sensitivity without being oversensitive, self-expression without fear of feedback, honesty without being negative, unselfish yet having balanced expectations, strength-focused while being realistic…and more and more and less and less……….mostly the desire to make it work.

So they come and they go. Others come and they stay. Make it work if you can! Give it your best shot. We can help.

Inner Child Online?

More and more practitioners and clients are seeking treatment for what ails them online. Physicians and medical staff on bringing services online and psychotherapist are bringing services online as we are.

Healing the Inner Child Online written by Elizabeth Zelvin describes how effective online therapy can be for people who have experience abuse, neglect, alcoholism and more in their family of origin. These experiences lead to struggles interacting in relationships and maladaptive coping skills. We and Elizabeth are here to help you integrate and heal the Inner Child. It is not easy but it’s worth the effort to heal! Contact Us!