Let Go or Hold On?

I've learned that knowing when to let go is just as important as knowing when to hang on.

-Kenn

The Good in Everyone

"In every person who comes near you look for what is good and strong; honor that; try to imitate it, and your faults will drop off like dead leaves when their time comes."

-John Ruskin

Aging Parents: Five Warning Signs of Health Problems

Now that your parents are getting older, you want to make sure that they're taking care of themselves and staying healthy. But it's difficult to monitor the health of your aging parents from miles away. Use your next visit with your parents to ask about their health and find out if there's anything you can do to help them maintain their independence.

Sometimes your parents won't admit they need help around the house. Other times they just don't realize they need help. Here are five things to look for on your next trip home, to help you gauge whether your aging parents need assistance.


1. Have your aging parents lost weight?
2. Are your aging parents safe in their home?
3. Are your aging parents taking care of themselves?
4. How are your aging parents' spirits?
5. Are your aging parents having difficulty getting around?


Talk with your parents if you have any concerns about their health and safety. Knowing that you're concerned about their health may be all the motivation your parents need to see their doctor. Some parents may need a little more encouragement, so let them know that you care about them and that you're worried. Consider including other people who care about your parents in the conversation, such as other relatives, close friends or clergy.

Often times, we have our own histories with our parents that challenge how we relate to them in their older age; this can make interacting with them on a very basic level difficult let alone talking with them about and supporting them with their aging issues. As your parents age, their physical and emotional needs can change from an independent, self-sufficiency toward a greater reliance/dependency on those around them. In cases where your past family dynamics are perceived with unresolved negatives or conflicts this can trigger your own suppressed feelings from childhood. As these emotions surface and the relationship roles change between you and your parents, you may struggle with how to relate to and “help” them. Getting your own counseling at that point can prove beneficial. Contact Us……..

Anxiety and Depression: Battling Dual Disorders

Anxiety and depression, two mental illnesses that plague an enormous number of Americans, are deeply entwined. Anxiety disorders are the most common of all mental disorders and afflict 19.2 million adults, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Depression follows closely at more than 18.8 million. In about half of all depression and anxiety cases—the more severe cases, typically—a person who suffers from one will be affected by the other as well.

The combination punch is a lot for anyone to bear. Researchers cite a common “chicken or the egg” syndrome, where it’s unclear which disorder led to the other and complicated the patient’s condition. While this might make the climb out of a psychological hole feel longer and steeper, it’s encouraging to know that health-care professionals are very successful at treating the two in tandem.

Similarly, a pervasive perception remains that depression and anxiety stem from some mental weakness or inherent fault in a person’s constitution. People suffering from these disorders are hypersensitive to the world around them and often adapt misconceptions like these as their own. They can be haunted by the familiar refrain, “Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.” The sense of inadequacy people can feel while dealing with a mental disorder is further burdened by the notion that they are not even strong enough to rescue themselves. But by their very definitions, anxiety and depression are marked by incapacitation and a disruption in one’s ability to cope. Inadequacy is not a cause—it’s a symptom.

With the correct diagnosis combined with help from a compassionate and skilled professional, anxiety and depression are very treatable illnesses. Contact us for a FREE consultation.

Hypersensitivity in Relationships

Adults who are highly anxious can perceive changes in facial expressions more quickly than adults who are less anxious, a new study shows. By jumping to emotional conclusions, however, highly anxious adults may make more errors in judgment and perpetuate a cycle of conflict and misunderstanding in their relationships. "This 'hair trigger' style of perceptual sensitivity may be one reason why highly anxious people experience greater conflict in their relationships."

"The irony is that they have the ability to make their judgments more accurately than less-anxious people, but, because they are so quick to make judgments about others' emotions, they tend to mistakenly infer other people's emotional states and intentions," says Fraley.

If you are experiencing anxiety, difficulty in relationships and hypersensitivity to your environment and jumping to emotional conclusions contact us for assistance.

Fraley RC, Niedenthal PM, Marks M, Brumbaugh C, Vicary A.Adult Attachment and the Perception of Emotional Expressions: Probing the Hyperactivating Strategies Underlying Anxious Attachment J Pers. 2006 Aug;74(4):1163-90. [Abstract]

Child Development

It's time to change how we view a child's growth.

Do you know all the ways you should measure your child’s growth? We naturally think of height and weight, but from birth to 5 years, your child should reach milestones in how he plays, learns, speaks and acts. A delay in any of these areas could be a sign of a developmental problem, even autism. The good news is, the earlier it’s recognized the more you can do to help your child reach her full potential.

Parents interested in gaining more knowledge of child developmental milestones and parenting fact sheets, visit Learn the Signs, Act Early

Mental Health: What's Normal, What's Not

Determining what's normal and what's not is tricky. Scientists, researchers and mental health experts have wrestled with the issue for hundreds of years, and even today the line between normal and abnormal is often blurred.

"There's a huge range of what's normal," says Donald E. Williams, Ph.D., a psychologist at Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. "But there are also many types of mental disorders — thoughts, feelings or behaviors that are abnormal."

What's normal is often determined by who's defining it. Normalcy is ambiguous and often rooted in value judgments particular to a certain culture or society. And even within cultures, concepts of normalcy may change over time, particularly if influenced by evolving societal values or expectations. New medical research and knowledge can also lead to changes in definitions of normalcy.

One thing that makes it so difficult to distinguish normal versus abnormal mental health is that you can't simply be tested for it. There's no MRI or blood test for obsessive-compulsive disorder, no ultrasound for depression, no X-ray for bipolar disorder. That's not to say mental disorders aren't biologically based, because they are linked to chemical changes within the brain, and scientists are beginning to map those changes visually. But there's no physiological diagnostic test for mental illness.

To learn more about defining “mental illness”, go to Normal or Not or contact us for a FREE, individualized initial consultation.

Life ain't fair...what are you going to do about it?

I've learned that life doesn't turn out like we want it to sometimes, but making the most of how it turns out is the best way to be happy. There will always be things that just don’t work out and you just have to make the best of it. There is no guarantee that life will be fair, it’s up to you to make it the way that works for you.

- Kenn

Therapy Better Than Sleep Meds for Insomnia

Cognitive behavioral therapies (CBT) such as relaxation techniques are more effective than sleep medications for insomnia. The findings, reported in the June 28 issue of JAMA found a greater improvement in sleep patterns among individuals who received cognitive behavioral therapy interventions than those who received the sleep medication zopiclone.

Among primary care physicians, the treatment of choice for insomnia has commonly been prescription medication. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the most widely used psychological intervention for insomnia. At present, CBT-based interventions for insomnia are not widely available in clinical practice, and future research should focus on implementing low-threshold treatment options for insomnia in primary care settings.

Telephone consultations and CBT-based group therapy for younger patients with insomnia produced equally significant improvements as individual therapy sessions. In another study, CBT delivered via the Internet in a self-help format showed significant improvements in individuals with chronic insomnia.
CBT and Sleep